OPINION: Italy’s macho men are a distant memory – and women are desperate

Italian lovers were in demand in the past but times have changed and Italian women are now “desperate”, argues Silvia Marchetti, who believes the myth of the Italian stud is over.

Advertisement

Italian men have always topped ladies’ sexual fantasies: hairy, masculine, dark-skinned, six-packed Latin lovers able to make any woman swoon at a simple glance.
My father and his friends, now in their 70s, have great memories of the “good old days” when stunning German and Swedish women would flock to Italy’s beaches in the 1960s just because of the local boys. 
But things have changed and today most Italian women are desperate.
I believe the Casanova myth is over and the stereotype of the Italian stud is declining. Maybe it’s already dead. 
According to recent data by Italy’s Society of Andrology, at least four million men have a ‘bed sheet syndrome’, meaning they simply have no sexual desire.

This is also due to psychological, and not just physical problems: they feel they must live up to the ‘macho ideal’ and this generates sexual performance anxiety.
According to the World Atlas on Sexuality, Northern European men have surpassed our men when it comes to love-making frequency – Italians only do it eight times per month on average.
A report by Italy’s Urology Society highlights women’s dissatisfaction: for four million couples sexual intercourse lasts just two minutes because the man is too ‘fast’ in bed. 
According to another recent survey by the Italian Censis think tank, 92 percent of men have had periods of sexual abstinence in the last three years: the average duration was six months, but for 26 percent abstinence lasted more than six months in a row.
The pandemic lockdowns have dealt a further blow to Italian men: since the COVID outbreak, the number of those who do not have an active sex life has risen by 10 percent, while over 60 percent admit to a drop in sexual desire.
But the virus only accelerated a downward trend.
Advertisement
Medical conferences highlight how an increasing number of Italian men nowadays resort to Viagra and other enhancing pills to reach peak performance in bed, and recent data suggests that over three million men have erectile dysfunction issues. And this problem is increasing among young people. 
That said, I think the trigger to the downfall of the Italian macho is mainly social.
A few sexologist friends of mine, who don’t wish to be named, believe the change in Italian women is killing the Italian macho.
Women have become independent, emancipated from the stereotypical image of them that has been around for centuries in Italy, where there’s still residue of the archaic patriarchal society.
Women are no longer ‘toys’ in the hands of fathers and husbands, and this has led to a crisis in male identity. 
“You foreign ladies heading today to Italy for some romance, forget about bumping into an Italian stud at every street corner. Might as well move north to Scandinavia”, says Michele, one of my dad’s best friends and a former lifeguard at Rimini’s beach, on the Adriatic coastline. 
Advertisement
Italian men today are also way more concentrated on their own looks than in the past. 
“I have more male than female clients”, says Simona Vecchi, owner of a beauty parlour in the centre of Rome.
“Other than for massages, they come here to have their chests, arms, legs and lower parts shaved. Regular clients want their eyebrows plucked and get manicures and pedicures once a week. Several even ask for a permanent eyeliner tattoo”. 
These are trends that would have been blasphemy 30 years ago.
“Shave my legs? No way man! That’s being like a girl”, says Michele, proudly showing me his hairy quadriceps. 
“Waxing my body makes me feel tidy, in order and comfortable around others”, says Alessandro Bianchi, a 40-year-old bank manager from Florence. 
“But this makes my girlfriend angry, and often I have to admit sex isn’t as good as it should be,” he adds. 
It’s sad to say but I am certain things are going to get only worse, and to see a real Italian macho we’ll have to turn to the old Dolce Vita movies and settle for those on screen. 
Do you agree with Silvia’s views on Italian men? Or have Italian men changed for the better? Share your own opinions in the comments section below.

More

#Opinion and Analysis

Comments (2)

Join the conversation in our comments section below. Share your own views and experience and if you have a question or suggestion for our journalists then email us at [email protected].
Please keep comments civil, constructive and on topic – and make sure to read our terms of use before getting involved.

Please log in here to leave a comment.

Alison

2024/10/22 19:34

PS I also think it’s not just Italy, but generational, a change in the world.

Alison

2024/10/22 19:26

I for sure don’t want the return of macho man, but am definitely keen on less arm (etc) waxing, over the top eyebrow shaping etc. Being an independent woman is great. We need to be. But I hope men catch up and realise that it’s ok, and they can still be sexy/masculine, they probably need to be, but we can be equal in other areas. It doesn’t mean they have to be emasculated. I don’t want to go out with, or to bed with, someone who is overly shaved, plucked or perfumed!

See Also

Italian men have always topped ladies’ sexual fantasies: hairy, masculine, dark-skinned, six-packed Latin lovers able to make any woman swoon at a simple glance.
My father and his friends, now in their 70s, have great memories of the “good old days” when stunning German and Swedish women would flock to Italy’s beaches in the 1960s just because of the local boys. 
But things have changed and today most Italian women are desperate.
I believe the Casanova myth is over and the stereotype of the Italian stud is declining. Maybe it’s already dead. 
According to recent data by Italy’s Society of Andrology, at least four million men have a ‘bed sheet syndrome’, meaning they simply have no sexual desire.
This is also due to psychological, and not just physical problems: they feel they must live up to the ‘macho ideal’ and this generates sexual performance anxiety.
According to the World Atlas on Sexuality, Northern European men have surpassed our men when it comes to love-making frequency – Italians only do it eight times per month on average.
A report by Italy’s Urology Society highlights women’s dissatisfaction: for four million couples sexual intercourse lasts just two minutes because the man is too ‘fast’ in bed. 
According to another recent survey by the Italian Censis think tank, 92 percent of men have had periods of sexual abstinence in the last three years: the average duration was six months, but for 26 percent abstinence lasted more than six months in a row.
The pandemic lockdowns have dealt a further blow to Italian men: since the COVID outbreak, the number of those who do not have an active sex life has risen by 10 percent, while over 60 percent admit to a drop in sexual desire.
But the virus only accelerated a downward trend.
Medical conferences highlight how an increasing number of Italian men nowadays resort to Viagra and other enhancing pills to reach peak performance in bed, and recent data suggests that over three million men have erectile dysfunction issues. And this problem is increasing among young people. 
That said, I think the trigger to the downfall of the Italian macho is mainly social.
A few sexologist friends of mine, who don’t wish to be named, believe the change in Italian women is killing the Italian macho.
Women have become independent, emancipated from the stereotypical image of them that has been around for centuries in Italy, where there’s still residue of the archaic patriarchal society.
Women are no longer ‘toys’ in the hands of fathers and husbands, and this has led to a crisis in male identity. 
“You foreign ladies heading today to Italy for some romance, forget about bumping into an Italian stud at every street corner. Might as well move north to Scandinavia”, says Michele, one of my dad’s best friends and a former lifeguard at Rimini’s beach, on the Adriatic coastline. 
Italian men today are also way more concentrated on their own looks than in the past. 
“I have more male than female clients”, says Simona Vecchi, owner of a beauty parlour in the centre of Rome.
“Other than for massages, they come here to have their chests, arms, legs and lower parts shaved. Regular clients want their eyebrows plucked and get manicures and pedicures once a week. Several even ask for a permanent eyeliner tattoo”. 
These are trends that would have been blasphemy 30 years ago.
“Shave my legs? No way man! That’s being like a girl”, says Michele, proudly showing me his hairy quadriceps. 
“Waxing my body makes me feel tidy, in order and comfortable around others”, says Alessandro Bianchi, a 40-year-old bank manager from Florence. 
“But this makes my girlfriend angry, and often I have to admit sex isn’t as good as it should be,” he adds. 
It’s sad to say but I am certain things are going to get only worse, and to see a real Italian macho we’ll have to turn to the old Dolce Vita movies and settle for those on screen. 
Do you agree with Silvia’s views on Italian men? Or have Italian men changed for the better? Share your own opinions in the comments section below.